I'm Glad I Returned

DISCLAIMER: I wrote this a few months back, and for whatever reason, did not post it.  Now that I have weathered past that storm, and am facing a new one, I think this deserves some light.  Once again, my life is changing drastically, making these entry nearly obsolete.

There is so much I haven't said.

It's been a while, and while so much has changed, so many things have remained as they have always been. I looked back at all that I found interesting and important, things that I felt were worth noting and must go one record.  They are so far from the life I have now, yet as I reread the entries I remember why I cared.  It's funny how a moment or idea can change so much in the rank of priority of your life, yet they don't lose their importance.  They are no longer the Ace of spades - the card that impacts so much - they are now just part of the hand I have been dealt. 

It's kind of funny to look back and not see anything about my Grandma or her constantly changing life - perhaps because I still fully didn't understand it.  Even now as it progresses faster than it ever has, part of me can't entirely grasp exactly what is coming next, and what will never be again. For so long, she did such a great job of not making it a big deal that I believed her.  Scientifically I always knew Alzheimer's couldn't be reversed, but she made it so believable.  In reality, it is a rust on a classic car - it will only spread and destroy something beautiful that you can never recreate.  The body still exists, but it will never run the same.  Through the destruction we find ourselves reminiscing on the good at a rapidly growing rate - it's all we have to hold on to.

I have moved.  I have been working toward the idea that I have long treasured.  It hasn't gone as I thought it would.  I work so much that I have forgotten things I have long loved.  The only words I have written are those of survival; these words, if not properly formulated, will be the ones that cause me to lose my job.  My kitchen has simply become a storage space.  Running shoes are retired in my closet.  The only two things that remain constant are my family and a good beer.  I thank God every day for my family and how close they are to me.  They are no longer just a sobbing phone call away - now I can take a short drive.  And luckily for the nights that I can't get to them, I can always find solace in a splendidly crafted brew.  

Perhaps the only thing that is missing now is the presence of the best man I have ever met.  I am doing my best to not let that consume my mind.  It is only temporary.

It's a City and Colour kinda afternoon

The Final Stretch

It's Almost Here!

Team Alaska!

We are officially 11 days away from the marathon... Part of me never thought this day would come! (I typically doubted things around 6am on Saturdays)  This Saturday is my last run and it's going to be interesting.  It's a short and sweet 6 miles (which sounded like an eternity to me in Feb), and it's the morning after I'll close down Maloney's... I probably won't get home until 4ish from the bar.  I'm thinking I'll take a power nap, run, and then crash until 8pm or so.
Oh yeah...
I got a new job at Maloney's Downtown! And Sophie 103.7!!  And I'm still at Applebee's!  Why am I trying to kill myself?  Just reading it as I write makes me want to quit, but I gotta keep truckin'.  Sophie is a division of CBS, so it's awesome for my resume, but it won't pay my bills.  Maloney's, however, will bring in that cash monay!  (I went to the doctor today and the medical form asked me if I had a history of any mental illness... I don't have a history but at this rate I will have a future.)  I am parting ways with Mueller College - it was a great experience and I met some remarkable people.  It is just time for me to look forward and see what else is out there for me.

My Apologies...
I've been in 50 different directions lately, and I am sorry to those whom I have lost touch with, as well as those I have tortured in my neurotic presence.  Some of it will be over soon, some of it will probably remain because that's just how I am.  I am so excited to spend a week in Alaska with my mom - it is going to be amazing.  Knowing that she will be there cheering me on has helped me train, but it has also helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel through all of this madness.  And I really could use some quality mother-daughter time.  We leave June 15, and don't have to worry about reality until June 23 (and my bday is a week later :)).  Until then, I will read Eat, Pray, Love, (I <3 Elizabeth Gilbert) strum my guitar and dance in my living room to let off my worry and steam.  Sometimes I just feel like there is so much in life to experience and I can't stand the thought of missing out.  What I am happy to say is by overloading my plate with the marathon, I am finally crossing off that goal of traveling that I made for myself last year.

Random Fact:
I am writing it small because I am still not convinced it's not a prank... if it isn't a prank, I will get to work on set of a documentary about the Titanic this Friday :) It is being filmed by Lone Wolf Productions for NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC.  I don't know what I did right or wrong, but I'm excited if this opportunity pans out.


It's all approaching so quickly... I am anxious but excited.  Probably more anxious than excited, but I know that will change soon.  Thanks again to everyone who has put up with the roller coaster they call Megan.  I've been a tall order lately.  (Yes, I'm aware, but I couldn't resist)


..:love:..

Life is about to get great....

I found an apartment 
I'm North Park Bound.  It's too much money and space for just Kiley and I -- so obviously it's a perfect fit.  I can't wait to move in (however, I can wait to pack the boxes)

I'm making my movie
One thing I have learned from the business world is to make myself look bigger than I am.  It worked.  I got emails.  I decided to not consult anyone on my new project.  Before I jump forward with changes, I always ask at least one person for their opinion, whether it be the idea, the approach, or if I'm just flat our crazy and irrational -- not this time......


Look for the kickstarter fundraising page.  It isn't up yet; we are working on budget.  I'll send out a notice when I have the page started.  If you can, spare a dollar or five :)


That's all folks!
Thanks to all 3 sets of eyes that might read this post.... you are appreciated!